How You Became Their Slave
There is a difference between value and worth, as you are valuable when you can give something, and you are worthy when you can receive it. In other words, value is what unique talents that you are able to give to yourself, the Universe, and others, whereas worth is what unique gifts you deserve to receive from yourself, the Universe, and others. Currently though, in any given relationship, you can either be worthy or valuable, but not both, and this is especially true within you.
The areas in which you are valuable, you seek to be worthy, and the areas you are worthy, you seek to be valuable, but you cannot be both at the same time in any given area. This is why one partner may often cheat, and why the other may become emotionally connected to their child in a dysfunctional way, since they want to feel either valuable or worthy, and cannot feel both in their primary relationship, therefore they seek out a third party to either give or receive from; this is the heart of ‘triangulation’.
Here is one of the core limiting beliefs that causes this experience: “The more valuable I become, the more worthy I am”. For example, “the more school I attend, the more money that I can make”, “the sexier I am, the more I will please my partner”, “the more romantic I am, the more I will feel worthy to be with my partner”, and “if I am with this gorgeous or rich person, the better I will feel about myself”.
However, increasing value does not increase worth, as worth is separate from value. This limiting association between value and worth is also known as the “Gambler’s Fallacy“, where each roll of the dice is thought to be dependent on the previous rolls, but in actuality, it is only dependent on the odds of each roll. People who have worth are able to collect large amounts of money without actually giving any value, this includes some supposed spiritual teachers and entrepreneurs…are they actually giving value, or just using those who have value to accumulate worth for themselves? The two are not related, you cannot work on worth to gain value, and you cannot work on value to gain worth — to gain value, work on value, but to gain worth, work on worth.
The hierarchical system is based on the one at the top having the most worth, not value, for it is the slaves that have value, but the masters that have worth.
Working on self-worth will increase your ability to receive from the Universe, and to be connected intimately to your own worth is to experience the grand shift, as the grand shift is the increase in worth, which empowers you to express your value.
WHAT HAPPENED, AND WHY?
There are two ways to gain a person’s value without giving them anything in return, the first is the substitution of flattery for respect (where respect is actionable love); this is an attempt to seduce value from a person by puffing up their ego and vanity, which is a counterfeit form of worth.
One person will flatter the other to gain value from them, but will not give them anything but flattery in return. This is providing words of approval that lack substance, which is the Appeal to Flattery logical fallacy, where they are manipulating to gain something for nothing; this is an immoral thieving of another’s value. They are using flattery as their “reason” to gain value from a person, rather than providing a fair exchange for the value they are receiving. Those who are more prone to vanity will be easily seduced with an appeal to flattery logical fallacy. This is akin to the “Brave New World” model for controlling populations.
The second way of gaining value is through attacking a person’s worth. Deceivers (those who use logical fallacies) first attack your worth, to gain the value that they desire to swindle from you, but in the way that they think you should give it to them, not in the way that is your natural and individual expression. This makes you valuable to them, but undermines your overall feelings of worth, also making worth outside-in to yourself, from them to you, rather than inside-out, which would cause you to be valuable only in the ways that you choose to give value. Those prone to feeling ashamed, guilty, and embarrassed are more prone to an attack on their worth. This is akin to the “1984” model for controlling populations.
This is how the second method works: Somebody attacks your worth so that you will feel worthless, allowing them to then tell you “prove your value to me, and I will give you worth”. You will resist the feeling of worthlessness, causing you to want to prove to them that it is not true, and then they will tell you how you can prove it — with actions that benefit them, and not you. At this point, you are a puppet on a string, serving their needs and not your own. This is the Burden of Proof logical fallacy, where the burden of proof should be on the person making the accusation, rather than the person whose worth is being attacked, but they cannot prove such a thing to you, nor give logical support, for you are worth it just because you are HERE, and an aspect of Source consciousness, not because you are a good servant to them.
This is related to the feelings of ‘rejection’ and ‘approval’, which are the dualistic opposites of the unity experience of ‘nurturing’. A person first attacks you, through rejection (punishment), taking aim at your worth, which causes you to seek approval from them, creating the slave and master paradigm of ‘submission’ and ‘dominance’, which happen to be the dualistic opposites of intimacy. This attack on your worth causes separation within your Self, as intimacy is oneness and connection to your worth from within, but dominance and submission is separation from your worth, making you reliant on receiving your worth from others, from the outside-in.
A parasite is somebody who lacks both value and worth, therefore they must either seduce value from another, or attack the worth of another. This will cause the value of their prey to be directed towards them, in order to give the parasite a counterfeit sense of worth. They are incapable of actually giving any value in exchange though, since they still lack value of their own, so any value they may give is either flattering words, or value stolen from another. It is the predatory and parasitic deceiver that has the lowest self-worth of all, as they are seducing or rejecting a person into giving them value, in order to feel worthy of life and love. They manipulate others to gain externalized value, as they cannot escape their own incompetence and worthlessness, being unable to do it for themselves; thus is the life of a parasite.
About the Authors
Nathan and Aline are spiritual teachers and founders of the Unity Process, Unity Tantra, and the Divine Pollination Hive, a Gnostic community that utilizes EFT tapping to integrate the shadow side within. Their passion is to assist the earth, and all of its inhabitants, in the transition from the low vibration of fear based love, and into the higher vibration of truth based love — the Divine Marriage of unity consciousness. They feel that this transition will lead to a real and lasting peace within each and every creature across the globe, where even “the wolf shall lie down with the lamb”. View all posts by Nathan & Aline »