Undergoing a spiritual awakening as an isolated teenager is a wondrous, yet largely terrifying experience. I managed to find spiritual assistance from unlikely sources, through Synchronicity.
When I experienced a spiritual awakening in my late teens to early 20s, it was a painful, traumatic, and confusing time. Back in the 1980’s, there was no internet, no bloggers, no New Age section in the local bookstore, no global awakening to aid a bewildered teenager.
Today, even with a wealth of knowledge and experience available on the internet, a young awakening can still be a painful and confusing process. Of course back then, in the decades that preceded the internet, the atmosphere for a spiritual awakening was downright medieval.
Undergoing a spiritual awakening as an isolated teenager is a wondrous, yet largely terrifying experience. As an adolescent, you’re already faced with so many other changes and challenges, attempting to find your identity and your place in the world. Adding a spiritual awakening on top of all that can be a recipe for personal disaster. A spiritually awakened teenager is an easy target for a mental health disorder diagnosis, both then and now. Perhaps this is one reason why the medical establishment and the pharmaceutical industry are increasingly pushing mind-altering drugs on both children and teenagers alike over the past few of decades, anything to dull or sabotage more awakenings.
Despite the extreme difficulties and challenges, I suspect the Universe-at-large views childhood and adolescence as an ideal time for spiritual awakening – awakening a soul before it becomes too enmeshed in the material world or indoctrinated into the Matrix control system is probably prefered. Unfortunately, young Starseeds are often forced to ‘stay in the closet’ until they can safely navigate their own spiritual awakening.
Despite the painful isolation of an early awakening, I managed to find spiritual assistance from unlikely sources. Much of it came to me through Synchronicity. One dramatic example was a strange paperback novel that I happened to pick up at a book store in 1984.
“Briefing For a Descent Into Hell”
was first published in 1971 by British author Doris Lessing, and shortlisted for a Booker Prize. Here is a brief synopis:
Charles Watkins, a Professor of Classics at Cambridge University, has suffered a breakdown, confined to a mental hospital as his friends and doctors attempt to bring him back to reality. But Watkins has embarked on a tremendous pyschological adventure that takes him from a spinning raft in the Atlantic to a ruined stone city on a tropical island to an outer-space journey through singing planets. As he travels in his mind through memory and the farther reaches of imagination, his doctors try to subdue him with ever more powerful drugs in a competition for his soul. (Source)
This is not an easy or a fun read, and in truth I never actually read the entire book. Yet for some reason I felt compelled to buy it, and then later compelled to page through it until its special message jumped out at me.
In the middle of my personal awakening, this was a trick I had picked up. Open a book at random and read a passage. The synchronicity would unfold alarmingly well back then. In this particular case it was quite mind-blowing.
The real message of this book is a mere dozen pages hidden in the middle of a 276 page paperback. Why do I assume this is the real message? Because the book’s title only makes sense when you read these dozen pages.
Charles Wakins is in a mental institution, suffering from amnesia and a type of schizophrenia. The book’s unusual format presents a mix of the narrator’s past memories and strange visions, as he attempts to sort reality from delusion. His doctors want him to return to normalcy.
Within these 12 pages, the author/narrator describes a memory of a pre-birth experience in a non-physical, heavenly realm that exists within our solar system. The narrator is being “briefed” by spiritual beings before his “descent” into the material world, as a spiritual volunteer to be incarnated on Earth as a new baby. A crisis is soon to engulf planet Earth, to transform it, so more volunteers were needed to assist Her and the human race in this transition. The narrator is just one in a number of volunteers, called the Descent Team, and there have been many Descent Teams throughout history.
Of course, we now know these brave & fearless spiritual volunteers as Starseeds, Indigo Children, and Wanderers.
“Now, the Permanent Staff on Earth has always has one main task, which is to keep alive, in any way possible, the knowledge that humanity, with its fellow creatures, the animals and plants, make up a whole, are a unity, have a function in the whole system as an organ or organism.”
Rereading this passage for the first time in many decades, what’s interesting is how closely this spiritual philosophy parallels the Ra Material, or The Law of One.
The Briefing proceeds to describe how difficult the mission will be, how challenging it will be to live and work among spiritually sleeping human beings. The Briefing attempts to warn the volunteers that they will find the atmosphere of Earth to be a Poisonous Hell, literally, emotionally, and spiritually.
“As everyone here knows, has had drummed into him or her from the moment he or she volunteered-it is not at all a question of descending into that Poisonous Hell and remaining unaffected. Every one of us takes his life in his hands. For these creatures are for the most part malevolent and murderous by nature … they cannot tolerate those who do not think as they do.”
The Briefing warns how other Descent Teams have lost their way, forgetting who they really are, becoming enmeshed in the spiritual madness of Earth.
“When the time comes, it will be our task to wake up those of use who have forgotten what they went for; as well as to recruit suitable inhabitants of Earth-those, that is, who have kept a potential for evolving into rational beings … it will be an assisting of the Earth’s people through the coming Planetary Emergency in which all life may be lost.”
The Briefing warns the volunteers that they will lose nearly all memory of their past existence, that they will not know themselves, nor remember the company of their fellow volunteers, yet will carry “a vague feeling of recognition.”
“…probably disassociated, disoriented, ill, discouraged, and unable to believe, when you are told what your task really is. You will wake up, as it were, but there will be a period while you are waking which will be like the recovery from an illness… Some of you may choose not to wake, for the waking will be so painful, and the knowledge of your condition and Earth’s condition so agonising, you will be like drug addicts; you may prefer to continue to breathe in oblivion.”
The Briefing describes such a dire situation, it’s a wonder the volunteers are still eager to leave their blissful present life and undertake this dangerous mission to Earth, dangerous in that they risk becoming lost to their amnesia, spiritual prisoners enamored with Earth’s toxic environment.
“It’s going to be tough. Every bit as tough as you expect. Which brings me to the final point. Which is that there is to be no Briefing. How could there be? You’d be bound to forget every word you hear now. No, you will carry Sealed Orders.”
This final bit of instruction is possibly the direst of all, with a touch of Twilight Zone irony, containing a final enigmatic nugget – Sealed Orders. The Descent Team shall be entirely unconscious of the work they are volunteering for on Earth. They shall have to rediscover their mission from their amnesia.
I was completely unprepared for this kind of revelation at such a young age. In fact, my mind fought against it quite violently. It was too devastating to my fragile, lonely, earth-bound, teenage ego. As a child, I had always felt that I did not belong on Earth, that I was a visitor, an observer, from some place else. As an adolescent, the idea that I had volunteered for such a mission, only to find myself in such a miserable condition, was too heartbreaking to believe. Yet I knew within the deepest part of my being that it was true – a truth desperately shared by my spirit guides to protect me, to help awaken me, perhaps to salvage my own purpose here on Earth.
In the novel however, the narrator does not awaken to his true self or his soul mission. His fate is quite tragic. Yes, he is cured by the control-system, which means he cursed to completely forget his true authentic self.
Before Charles agrees to go through with the electroshock treatment, he meets with his friend, Violet, a fellow mental patient who prefers to act like a little girl. Charles tells her, “My sense of urgency is very simple. I’ve remembered that much. It’s because what I have to remember has to do with time running out. And that’s what anxiety is, in a lot of people. They know they have to do something, they should be doing something else, not just living hand-to-mouth, putting paint on their faces and decorating their caves and playing nasty tricks on their rivals. No. They have to do something else before they die–and so the mental hospitals are full and the chemists flourishing.” The next day, Charles’ gets shocked and remembers his old self, never again to return to that outer sense of being that prompted his amnesia. (Source)
You can read about my own personal spiritual awakening as an adolescent in my own fictionalized novels. Oddly enough, I never realized just how much Doris Lessing’s novel may have inspired my own works, until I felt a compulsion to rediscover her book and write this post.
About the Author
David Nova is the author of the metaphysical fiction series “Season of the Serpent.” He is a truth-seeker, a Wanderer, a blogger, and the moderator of Deus Nexus: Messages For An Entangled Universe. For additional information about the author or his novels, visit his website, or his Facebook page.
Awakened But Isolated: Are You Alone In Your Truth?
The One Infinite Creator & The Law of One
Synchronicity and the Mind of God
Season of the Serpent: A Hero’s Journey
My Spiritual Experiences with Psychedelics